Labor is not easy but it's difficult to describe if you haven't gone through it yet. It's a huge feat, no matter how you choose to go through it. Like many other things, a lot of the work is mental. Labor can be different for everyone, but having the right tools and resources beforehand can make a world of difference!
For my fourth child, I was in labor for 20 hours before got an epidural. He finally came about 6 hours later! I did get the epidural after those 20 hours (mostly out of pure exhaustion since my labor started around midnight the night before) but the actual labor part was the easiest one so far! I attribute this largely to the tools I had at my disposal during this pregnancy compared to my previous ones. So I'm going to share them with you!
Disclaimer here: I was dilated to 6 cm when I agreed to get an epidural (which came an hour later). Being at a 6 means I was just barely on the edge of active labor so I know I missed the most difficult part of labor! My goal in sharing this information isn't to necessarily help you deliver unmedicated. (Although if that's your goal, more power to you!!) My goal is to help you get through as much as you can, so that you can avoid "the cascade of interventions" and have a quicker recovery. Generally speaking, the more medical interventions one has during labor and delivery, the more difficult the recovery is. This can also help you prevent perennial tearing (click that link to read my blog post about it!). (I know this isn't perfectly true for everyone all the time, but it's what I've seen in my anecdotal experience and in the research I've read.)
7. NEST
Believe it or not, you need to mentally prepare to have a baby. Nesting, or prepping your home for your baby’s arrival, will help a lot. This usually means getting clothes washed and ready, sleeping area(s) prepared for baby, and your home clean and organized.
6. Shower!
I don't know why no one told me this in my first pregnancy but laboring in the shower was GREAT! (I would have done the whole thing in there if I could have.) Highly, highly recommend doing it. Even if you don't feel like it will help (I didn't), you might be surprised. Somehow the hot water splashing on my lower back just helped the contractions ease away into very doable squeezes!
Bonus if you have a shelf or window ledge you can lean on during the shower too.
5. Use counter-pressure moves
These are so helpful and so crucial. Having your partner (or nurse or doula) put his or her hands on your hip bones and SQUEEZE them strongly together like an accordion is amazing! My husband and one of the nurses switched duties on this and it was incredibly helpful.
Another good counter pressure move (which is the elixir of labor) is to lie on your side and bend your topmost knee. The pressure-giver then does the accordion compression move with one hand on your topmost low back (right between your love handle and your spine) and the other hand on the knee. This move removes 90% of the pain of a contraction and should be treated as gold!
4. Fuel.
For some reason in my first labor, I just really wanted to get a huge donut once my labor started. I don't know why. It didn't sound good in the moment, but I somehow got it in my head beforehand that since I would be burning so many calories during labor, I could eat whatever I wanted (not a great food mindset anyway). Anyway, I basically pushed myself to consume a big 7-11 donut during early labor 🤢 Needless to say I felt completely sick afterwards! Not a great state to be in when you're just starting the work!
During my fourth labor, I went to the hospital when my contractions were strong and about 4 min apart. My labor wasn't progressing enough to be admitted so they gave me a morphine shot (lovely!) and sent me home. On the way home, I got a pasta dish with fresh vegetables and wow, did I feel so much better! Of course the type of food will depend on your personal preferences and habits. My advice is to "listen to your body" and really try to be in tune with what your body needs!
3. Move it, move it!
Move your body. One of the worst things you can do once labor starts (as I learned the hard way) to just sit down and rest. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but even just walking up and down the street will help. Keep moving to get that labor progressing!
2. Moan but keep it low
When you have a contraction that’s painful and you feel like moaning (which I think is very helpful) keep it low. I know it sounds really weird, but it’s very natural to make it high-pitched, especially when things intensify. But keeping it lower in pitch helps things be more controlled.
Also opening your mouth wide during that will help all the sphincters open up — even if it feels a little silly. Remember sphincter law! (Sphincters only open when you feel safe and relaxed. This is why some people can’t poop in public and why the cervix won’t dilate unless you feel safe.)
1. Breathe. (Intentionally in patterns)
This is THE most important thing I can tell you!! I know it sounds lame. Of course, you're going to be breathing! I remember one of the nurses telling me this during labor with my first child. I was very annoyed. I just rolled my eyes and through gritted teeth told my husband just how intelligent I thought that advice was (not very).
To be fair, that nurse only told me to "breathe" but nothing more than that. A few years later, my good friend who has had six children unmedicated shed some more light here. There are tons of different breathing patterns you can do (4-4-4-4 square breathing like Navy Seals do, etc.). I found the following worked best for me:
"Eight counts in, four counts hold, and eight counts out, four counts hold."
This adds up to 24 seconds which can get you through half or one contraction depending on what stage of labor you are in.
Most hospitals recommend recommend heading to the hospital (or birthing center) when:
If it's your first delivery — contractions feel strong, 45-60 seconds each, 5 minutes apart for 2+ hours.
If you've delivered before — contractions are 45-60 seconds each, 5 minutes apart for 1+ hour.
(Note: If your water breaks, head straightaway to reduce risk of infection.)
Well that's a wrap! let me know! Let me know if you have any questions or thoughts in the comments.